Minneapolis Marjorie

Have you embraced the Hive Mind?

I will be the first to admit that I am an Old Fashioned Girl. This is not to say that I am stuck in the dark ages, in fact, I am proud and delighted that I am still learning. In some cases, the learning curve is steeper than others. In this case, I am referring to the ways in which we gather information.

As a young clerical worker, I was very good at finding things out. I loved libraries, librarians, people with experience and a love of sharing, encyclopedias, and newspapers. As technology advanced, I was a few beats behind and was often frustrated by hitting brick walls when I tried to do things the old fashioned way. Luckily, I worked at the university and was surrounded by bright young things, many of whom were my support staff in the form of work-study students. I was amazed when I would dish out an assignment to one student in particular who would startle me with the speed of finding the answers to my myriad questions. When I asked how she did that, she smiled sweetly and said, “Google.” I thought, “Huh.” Of course, I was familiar with this search engine, but did not quite grasp the broad range of what I could learn there. The other resource I discovered was YouTube, with videos about everything. Not only did I want to learn how to install a ramafram into my plumbing, but it seemed that I was clearly not the only one. I enjoyed the various approaches that folks took in their presentations (some had clearly been drinking) and often had to watch 5 or 6 to find the video that best suited my needs.

The hurdle that defeated me the most was customer service. Who knew that you could no longer call a company and speak to a knowledgeable professional? I suppose everyone but me. After hours spent trying to get answers from the utility companies and manufacturers that own my life, I started to catch on. As much as I still hate chatting to bots, I have found the secret passageways to knowledge by asking the right questions. Yelling “OPERATOR” into the telephone no longer works, I am afraid. However, if you let the bot ask you a few questions (yes, you have to be nice to them, too, if you want to get the answers) you will soon learn the clues to have them ask an actual person to call you. What a miracle! And – this is the best part – they love to chat! There are still customer service operators out there, and they know the answers! Circuitous, yes, but rewarding in the end.

I would tell you the secret questions, but they are different for every service. If you try to use this method, please don’t give up. The results will pay off (eventually) and will not include driving over to their office, just to be met with blank stares from The Manager. Oh, and another hint – forget telephones, emails, or websites. They all really want you to download their app to your phone. That is where the technology is concentrated. Trust me on this. It’s a tiny keyboard, but this is the future.

A side note:

During our get-togethers at Friday Night Salons, this subject kept coming up: so many people have been told, quite pointedly, that they just don’t “have it.” This comes from critics, teachers, parents, and the general public. DO NOT BELIEVE IT! I was also told this when I was a newly fledged pattern-maker, and I went on to start my own garment manufacturing company that was quite successful and rewarding.

AND, the most important message on the subject: please be very careful how you talk to children about their talents, their art, or a job they have done. They will remember your comments for the rest of their lives, and those comments may keep them from trying new things. Walk a mile in their tiny shoes – you won’t regret it.

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You know that winter is a distant memory when…

4 Comments / Newsletter / mschalles

Here in the Upper Midwest, there is a common pastime among all the residents: looking forward to summer. And every year, like clockwork, or close to it, winter is over. Sometimes it is sloppy, sometimes abrupt, and always a surprise. Upon waking, you walk outside to check the weather and – there is birdsong! There is a feeling in the air that is unmistakable – a soft sigh, less of an edge, and a fresh aroma*. It is so subtle, and yet so magical. Every single time.

When I was growing up in the desert that is Los Angeles, I dreamed that I could one day move to the Midwest, a favorite vacation destination where my mom’s family lived. Snow! Rain storms! Fireflies! My world consisted of hot, dry, and often smoggy days, endless summer temperatures, and no chance to wear a coat or boots, no opportunities to play in the woods, nothing green anywhere unless you included the foliage around the yard or next to the freeway that was continuously dusty and forlorn.

I got my wish when I was 41 – not a moment too soon. Now, when it is officially summer, I can no longer remember what it was like to drive on fresh snow and ice, what the landscape looked like under all that snow and ice, and how annoying it got to be when you had to gather SO MANY THINGS just to leave the house! Hat, gloves, scarf, boots, coat, glasses, car keys, and possibly a change of footwear for when you arrive at your journey’s end.

Next winter I will look back at these images to remember what it was like, for by then it will again be cold, leafless, and covered in snow and ice. The constant reminder will be the bright red cardinal who never leaves, and appears at our window to remind us of the wonder that awaits us when the cold weather finally retreats.

In February, I will browse through the seed catalogs and place my order for the most beautiful, the brightest, and the tallest flowers, to be planted in the garden by my husband, the gardener. I will pick bouquets and at the end of the summer, I will paint a portrait of my results.

*the locals will tell you that the aroma is that of defrosted dog poo, but your interpretation may vary.

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Retirement musings

2 Comments / Newsletter / mschalles

When I considered retiring from my final job, I had several thoughts. Would I feel unnecessary? Would I be bored? Would I drive everyone crazy with my unspent, restless energy? I decided to pull the plug one year before my target date. I had been through many different jobs at the University, all in the capacity as a secretary/administrative assistant, and was ready to strike out as a newly minted AARP member and learn about the exciting world of former working stiffs.

Before my stint at the U, I had been self-employed, owned a manufacturing company, and worked for other people and companies in sales and customer service. I am a true extrovert, and I was somewhat concerned that I would feel bereft without an audience. Here are some of the things I learned:

· Wait at least six months before volunteering or getting a part-time job or going to school…

· Have a schedule. Laundry on Monday, groceries on Tuesday, etc. Without a routine, my time just slipped through my fingers and I just kept buying more underwear to make up for missed laundry opportunities.

· Without keeping regular working hours, I found my rhythm – my Circadian Rhythm. I had been living within the confines of the old 8 to 5 since I was five years old, and it was just so marvelous to let my body tell me when to go to bed and when to get up. There were many adjustments along the way, and it was very tempting to take afternoon naps, but once I realized that I didn’t want to go down that slippery slope, I managed to self-correct. (This took me about 6 years, so your mileage may vary). Sleep is vitally important, and I treasure every single hour.

· Yes, I could volunteer, but as what? Having gotten a handle on having lots of “free” time, I proceeded with caution into the world of volunteering. It is very difficult for a control freak to share a job. I have found that I get the most satisfaction through mentoring and teaching others the myriad skills that I have amassed. What else can a person do with all those years of knowledge? You can’t take it with you – and if you can get it out of your head and into someone else’s, that leaves you more room for other random information.

· I had more money at my disposal than I expected. Without the necessity of daily driving, eating lunches out, treating myself to silly purchases, my Social Security and modest pension checks went much farther than I thought they could. Most of us learned this lesson during the COVID lockdown, and it is a lesson that I hope to embrace for the rest of my life. To be fair, I still spend more than I bring in, but it is pretty nice to walk into a store and realize that there is really nothing that I need. Dressing up is not something I look forward to, as I haven’t bought anything that is in style in a long, long time, but we can also thank the pandemic for this glimpse into the reality of just being comfortable. Clean, but comfortable. I also realized that after a Certain Age, we truly become invisible, if not to ourselves.

· Cherish your friends. Make more friends. Do not allow yourself to become that person who is at loose ends with an empty nest and a too-convenient TV.

· Learn new things. I realized that as a “senior” (hate that term, but what can you do?) there are so many classes and programs available to us. Make a list of the things you always wanted to do if you had more time. Rediscover libraries, community education, art, music, and for Pete’s sake, meet those neighbors you have been waving to all this time. They have names, too, not just their dogs. Get on social media and reconnect with those distant cousins and friends from school who are in the same boat, just waiting to hear from you. You will be so glad you did. You may want to ignore that temptation to contact old lovers – that rarely ends well.

· Whatever you do, give your kids some space. After years of grooming the little darlings to be independent, just let them. Once they see that you are also independent, you can both work on your mutual respect. Resist that urge to call them (they don’t talk on the phone anyway), learn how to send text messages, and you can even send silly memes, because that way they will know that you are not dead yet.

· Rediscover where you live! Pretend that you are showing friends around your town, and go to those events and festivals and museum ribbon-cuttings. Eat out by yourself, it’s fun! Bring something to read, and just remember, you are invisible. It’s your turn to be that eccentric person.

· Ask for help – this one is REALLY HARD! Remember how good it feels to help others, and be that other. People really do want to help you, so don’t be so darn stubborn.

· Stay out of the left lane on the highway. I know this is hard, but those speeding drivers will thank you. Leave for your appointments (there will be many) with plenty of time, so that if you get stuck at a red light it just won’t matter. Take deep breaths, listen to your favorite music, just stop hurrying all the time. You have arrived, so enjoy the scenery.

· Listen. Just listen. If others want to hear about what you were doing in 1978, they may just ask.

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Learning what I thought I already knew

Newsletter / mschalles

So, a few months ago I had a Great Idea – start a blog! I wanted to have a place to share my thoughts, musings, opinions, and experiences. But I wanted it to have a different URL/online address from my art website. Simple, right? Ha!

I contacted my service provider for my domain, thinking I could just get a separate domain for my blog, and Bob would be my uncle. Well, not so much.

After three months of trying to do this using my (not) extensive website building knowledge, I forged ahead with WordPress, which seemed to have rave reviews and was suggested as an easy blog builder.

Well, suffice it to say that I am now intimately familiar with scores of helpful tech people worldwide, and have nothing but good reviews for them, except: I learned, once again, that for anything you wish to do (in so many avenues of life in general) there are at least four ways to do that thing. Each helpful person offered their version of the Best Way to Do That, and included further suggestions for the project, none of which remotely resembled what the previous (or next) person believed to be the best choice of options. Opinions abound, and with my now, clearly, limited grasp of the task at hand, I found myself hopelessly confused by all the jargon (which turns out to be somewhat interchangeable) and the steps involved.

After arduously trying to determine if I was speaking with a representative of my domain host or website builder – which is a very fine line, I’ll tell you – I finally forked over the very affordable minimum monthly dues which provided a direct PHONE LINE (remember those?) to a real, live, very clever human, who also offered solutions sprinkled with opinions, but nonetheless helped me to organize my endless questions into a much clearer order. Thank God for Post-it©Notes!

I now feel confident to report that I have completed this ad hoc course of my own design, although I fear that I am in no position to attempt to teach it.

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A Woman’s View from 70…and counting

Newsletter / mschalles

I suppose I am coming in rather late to this party, but people kept telling me that I should write my life story. After giving it much thought, I decided to write it in this format and continue to add to it as I go. Feel free to jump in anytime with questions and suggestions.

The chapters of my life are many, and I have re-invented myself several times. Childhood, the teen years, 20-30, marriage/divorce/widowhood, being a mother, moving to the Midwest, being a grandmother… I have had a rich and rewarding life, filled with adventure, discovery, happiness, sadness, and now, contentment. I have had a pretty long and circuitous route that brought me to this world of art making.

Please follow along as I share with you the story of my life.

At high school in Glendale, CA, I learned fairly quickly that if I kept my grades up, I could switch to a work/study program in which I could take classes until noon and then go to work. In my junior year, I landed a job at a local record store, Rare Records, and my life truly began. Until this point I had felt quite invisible, never fitting in with any of the social groups at school, and when I strode into that store in bare feet, cut-offs, and a tank top, I felt a noticeable change in my energy and enthusiasm. I had known for quite a long time that school was not for me – I was far too restless to sit still and wait for someone to teach me. This was in the Sixties – a famously magical time and I had a front row seat to all the new artists that were coming along, as well as free tickets to just about any concert I wanted to attend in the Los Angeles area. In addition, I was in a rarefied environment, being exposed to jazz, blues, country, and classical music in addition to rock and folk, my personal favorites. I no longer had to depend on my parents for spending money – and I wasted no time in acquiring my first car: an MG Midget. I was there for seven years, wore many different hats, met famous people, jazz musicians, composers, photographers, and learned the business at the elbow of life-long music aficionados. We sold to walk-in customers, mail order customers (which would prepare me for my eventual mail order business), and we held international mail order record auctions. I beam when I remember how pleased I was when I realized that my children also enjoyed this exposure to such an eclectic mix of musical styles. But that was much later. After I left the record store, I went to work at Warner Elektra Atlantic Records as a secretary to the West Coast Promotion Man, and was greeted each day with a lovely stack of brand new LPs that I could take home. My final job in the record business was as a secretary to Wolfman Jack until which time that I felt that I was ready for a change.

At 26, I learned the art of pattern making and clothing design in the Los Angeles garment business, which was exactly what I wanted to do, but just didn’t know it. I quickly became a free-lance pattern maker and was able to move to Santa Barbara, CA, where I lived for 12 years. During that time, I did independent work for entrepreneurs and start-up companies, Patagonia, The Santa Barbara Ballet, costume companies, tennis wear manufacturers, and for private commissions – basically for anyone who answered my ad. I cultivated unlimited possibilities with my talents and skills. By 1982 I had founded my own business, The R. Duck Company, making diaper covers in a rainbow of colors for babies, called Rubber Duckies. This was a product that I tested on my own children, as I was an avid cloth diaper user and I was in search of the perfect waterproof and affordable diaper cover. This kept me busy for twelve years – it was the hardest thing I have ever done, the most rewarding thing I have ever done, and it just about killed me. Eventually, the business folded (a victim of the times, economics and competition, among other things.) I lost everything, declared bankruptcy, and moved to Minnesota.

I had always wanted to live in the Midwest, where we have beautiful seasons and weather – rain, thundershowers, snow, warm days, cool days – it was such a change from Southern California and I just loved it. When I arrived here, I continued doing freelance work until I came to the conclusion that I really needed to get a “real job.” My three children were in high school and starting college and I was completely worn out after working seven days a week, day and night for more than 20 years. I wanted a job that offered benefits, vacation and sick days and a living wage, so I applied for and got a job at the University of Minnesota as an administrative assistant, which at the time, we called secretaries. This gave me a broad introduction into a completely new world – higher education, in which I was an office manager, assistant to deans, provosts, and professors, drawing on the skills I had developed when I was younger in sales, marketing, organization, and most important, customer service. I came to realize that customer service is what happens when you talk to anyone – your boss, a retail customer, a co-worker, a family member – customer service is at the height of my talents. I feel very strongly that I can communicate with just about anyone, I can help talk them down if they are having a problem, I can give suggestions if they are on a particular quest for something, or just listen. I have based my world view on becoming the best customer service person I can be. I also apply the Golden Rule to life, and my mantra is “Be Here Now.” This allows me to live in the moment, and not worry about what comes next as I have no control over that. I believe that the present is a gift, which is why it is called that. This principle has helped me all these years. Although I started in business when I was 14, I am now in my seventies, and I never stop learning. It is absolutely thrilling and exciting.

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